Thriller Script - First Draft

Below is the first draft of the scrip for our thriller, Eye for a Eye, to give you an idea of what we originally wanted to achieve. We have changed several things since writing the script although we have tried to stick to the original idea as much as possible. Unfortunately there were complications meaning that we lost Jess's character as she was unable to join us in the filming process. Therefore her parts have been shown only through the use of a handheld camera and a voice over by Alice Parsons for her speaking parts to keep her character within the storyline. This also meant that the footage for the murder scene is grouped together as we were unable to film anything with which to break it up successfully although I feel that this has in it's own way helped us to maintain the atmosphere which we wanted to create.

Italics-second camera

Colour

Shot One-Establishing long shot of house.

Shot Two-Close up on Stephen’s hands and the pages of the sketchbook, position the camera at an angle so that the arm of the bench is in frame. Stephen turns the pages and after two pages are turned the monologue begins.

Black and white

Shot Three-Head shot of Isaac who is leaning against a tree.

Shot Four-Cut to a Pan shot of Jess (who is clutching the second camera) and Katherine as they walk towards the forest. They are taking together the sounds are muted.  Stephen’s monologue begins.

Shot Five-Pan ends. Tableau shot when they reach Isaac who takes a step forward so that he is foremost in shot. Jess speeds up so that she walks out of frame. Katherine pushes past Isaac and walks out of shot.

Shot Six-Close up of Isaac as he watches the others walk away.

Shot Seven-Cut to the sketchbook and biro which Isaac is holding as he absentmindedly makes the final touches to his drawing. He moves his hands out of the way of the camera so that the audience can see the sketch.

Shot Eight-hot over Katherine’s shoulder as Jess turns and lifts the camera.

Shot Nine-Extreme close up of Katherine’s hand as she pushes the camera away.

Shot Ten-Long shot, Isaac follows the others into the forest.

Shot Eleven-Medium shot of Jess who sits down against a tree and plays with the camera in her lap.

Shot Twelve-Jess films the ground. A snap is heard.

Shot Thirteen-Close up on Katherine who jumps at the sound.

Shot Fourteen-Over the shoulder shot, focuses on Jess who has not reacted. Conversation begins.

                Jess: What’s up?

                Katherine: Didn’t you hear that?

                Jess: What?

                Katherine: Nothing.

Jess sighs and turns back to the camera. Second snap, Katherine turns her head in direction of the sound.

                Katherine: I’ll be right back.

                Jess: Fine.

Shot Fourteen-Pan shot follows Katherine deeper into the forest, keep at medium shot length. Katherine stops still.

Shot Fifteen: 180 degrees long shot reveals Isaac standing at a distance behind her. Issac walks towards Katherine, watching his feet. The Music changes.

Shot Sixteen-Long shot, Jess stands up and still holding the caner walks in the same direction as Katherine.

Shot Seventeen-Long shot of Jess’s surroundings, footage is shaking as she walks.

Shot Eighteen-Two shot, Isaac reaches out for Katherine’s scarf as if he would strangle her with it. A heartbeat soundtrack is played over the music to show fear.

Shot Nineteen-Cut to Jess who is still walking.

Shot Twenty-Medium shot, Katherine turns to see Isaac who draws back. She turns to run and Isaac grabs hold of the scarf. Katherine runs out of the shot, leaving Isaac holding the scarf.

Shot Twenty One-Long shot, Isaac catches Katherine up and grabs hold of her arm. As Katherine struggles he manages to get the scarf around her neck and begins to strangle her.

Shot Twenty Two-Medium shot follows Jess, she stops walking.

Shot Twenty Three-Long shot, Katherine pushes Isaac back, the scarf falls to the ground and they struggle.

Shot Twenty Four-Head shot of Jess to show her reaction.

Shot Twenty Five-Long shot, Isaac pushes Katherine into the trees.

Shot Twenty Six-Wipe shot as Jess moves the camera, cuts away from both Isaac and Katherine. A loud crash is heard to suggest impact.

Shot Twenty Seven-Head shot of Jess.

Shot Twenty Eight-Long shot of Katherine half lying on the ground, half propped up against the tree, head lolls. Isaac stands beside the tree.

Shot Twenty Nine-Close up of Isaac to show reaction. Stephen’s monologue begins.  

Shot Thirty-Cut back to a medium shot of Katherine.

Shot Thirty One-Head shot of Jess.

Colour

Shot Thirty Two-Stephen opens the sketchbook, revealing Katherine’s scarf which has been neatly folded. Shot lasts until the monologue stops.

                Alice: Dad?

Shot Thirty Three-Medium shot of Alice who is staring at the sketchbook.

Shot Thirty Four-Point of view shot, Stephen snaps the book shut.

Shot Thirty Five-Two shot, Stephen, his back to the camera stands up and walks past Alice, patting her shoulder as he does so. He takes the book with him.

Shot Thirty Six-Head shot of Alice.

Black and white

Shot Thirty-Seven-Head shot of Jess, zooms slowly in and monologue ends. Fade out.  

List of the Basic Plots

It is believed that in both films and literature there is only a small handful of basic plots and that whilst the plot lines turn in many different and often surprising directions the stories usually have more than a few factors in common. According to writer Ronald B. Tobias these plots are:

1.      The  Quest-A character driven plot line the Quest is the protagonist’s conscious search to find among other things a person, an object or a idea. At the end of the quest either the success or failure to find the desired target or more usually the journey itself is the catalyst for character development. An example is Quest for Fire.

2.      Adventure-A journey that takes place away from the surroundings familiar to the Protagonist. Unlike the quest the Adventure plot is more action based as it is less character driven, the story focusing on the physical journey itself meaning that it the protagonist dose not necessarily change along the way. An example of the Adventure plot in films is Indiana Jones.

3.      Pursuit-This is where one character pursues another and the other tries to avoid being found, either of which could be the protagonist. In the Pursuit plot there are generally high stakes involved and the chase itself is often more important than the character development. Two examples of the Pursuit plot are Jaws and Halloween.

4.      Rescue-As with the Adventure plot here the protagonist is often thrown into a world they are uncomfortable with and like the Quest the protagonist is searching for something in an attempt to get it back. Also this plot line is generally more story than character driven. This plot line also relies on an antagonist character to provide conflict. The rescue plot deals with the concept of good versus evil as it can be argued that to be rescued you are delivered from something bad. An example of the rescue plot is The Seven Samurai where the object is to rescue the village from bandits out of a sense of justice.

5.      Escape-A literal escape which follows the story of a protagonist confined against their will as they try to escape their situation. Often an audience is made to feel sympathetic towards the trapped character although there are times where the story is a battle of wills rather than good versus evil. It could be said that an example of this is The Shawshank Redemption.

6.      Revenge-A retaliation against the antagonist for a real or fictitious hurt. An example is The Count of Monte Cristo. 

7.      The Riddle-The protagonist and as such the audience is prevented with a series of often ambiguous clues and uses them to try and either find the answer to a question or understand it.  An example is Murder on the Orient Express.

8.      Rivalry-A plot which relies heavily on conflict between the characters. A basic rivalry is two characters with equivalent but normally alternative strengths compete with each other over a specific goal. An example is Lord of the Flies. 

9.      Underdog-Like the rivalry plot the underdog plot is often a completion between characters over a certain goal however they are not evenly matched, the protagonist being at a huge disadvantage. In most underdog plots the audience watches as the protagonist works to achieve their target. An example is Run Fat Boy Run.

10.  Temptation-A character driven plot this focuses on the frailty of human nature, the way we yield to temptation with mental or physical consequences and the ways in which we deal with them. An example is MacBeth

11.  Metamorphosis-The Metamorphosis plot is unlike most others in the fact that it is not bound by realism as the change is as much physical as it is mental, allowing the outward appearance of the protagonist to morph from one form to another. A more common example of this is a human being changing into the form of an animal and vice versa and often the animal form matches the personality of the human. The journey of the Protagonist rights the situation or sometimes allows them to accept it. An example is Dracula.

12.  Transformation-It is similar to Metamorphosis in the fact that this plot deals with change however it is decidedly character driven and the change is not literal. Here we watch the Protagonist grow and change from the person they were at the begging. A portion of the Protagonists life is isolated as they move from one important character state to another. This plot deals with the process of life and its effects on the individual. An example is The Invisible Man.

13.  Maturation-This plot line is very closely linked to the Transformation plot although whilst the Transformation deals with adults who are in the process of changing the maturation plot focuses mostly on children as they become adults. The Maturation plot is fairly optimistic, allowing the Protagonist to change for the better rather than the worse. An example is Great Expectations.

14.  Love-A love story where the main characters are within the rights of society but the where the situations they find themselves in are nonetheless against them or where their love is not condoned by others. The love plot is like the Maturation plot in the fact that it is optimistic as there is a decent chance that the characters will meet with success in the end. An example is Love Story.

15.  Forbidden Love-This is where the main characters are restricted by the views of society, a few examples being their social class or religion. A story with this plot line has less chance of a happy ending than the love story as either society wins or the lovers pay for their disregard for the society with death. An example is Madame Bovary.

16.  Sacrifice- Here the protagonists sacrifice themselves for their ideals, believing that there own needs are of lesser importance. For the protagonist an internal struggle is common where they must decide which path they will take, knowing that the risks are high and the reward great. An example is Casablanca.

17.  Discovery-The Discovery plot is perhaps one of the most character driven as it deals with the self discovery of the Protagonist. An an example is A Portrait of a Lady.

18.  Wretched Excess-A plot line which can convince the audience that whatever the cause of the protagonist’s turmoil in his excess that the same situation can happen to them to. The antagonist here can be a actual person but it can also be a thing, such as drink or wealth. The protagonists gradually loss themselves to the point where they can’t control their behaviours and either they are healed or the plot line becomes a tragedy from which the protagonist cannot escape. An example is Wall Street

19.  Ascension-The rags to riches scenario where the positive character traits of the protagonist are rewarded with success  in their goals.  An example is The Rose and the Ring.

20.  Descension-Riches to rags, the character driven plot line which deals with the protagonist’s downfall . This plot line is extremely closely linked to Ascension and they are sometimes paired in the same stories which focus on one a character’s rise and fall. An example is The Godfather, Part 3.

Character Representation

Discuss the representation of terrorists and the couple in the extract from ‘spooks’

In many ways the Arab terrorists and the white, English couple in this drama have been presented as binary opposites, casting a sympathetic light on the English couple, this has been done by using matters such as the sound used, including the dialogue, mise-en-scene camera angles and editing. However there are also sections where the audience is given an opportunity to see the terrorists in a kinder light, partly through the use of sound and dialogue, and the character of the female terrorist Khatera although as at the beginning of the episode we as an audience are encouraged to feel more inclined that the terrorists are in the wrong.

One of the ways the drama represents these characters is through mise-en-scene. At the start of the episode, we are presented with a mundane looking street and Adam and Fiona’s kitchen. The couple are dressed in pale colours and the kitchen is made to look warm. There is, I think, also a definite feel that their home has been lived in due to the clutter in the kitchen and the focus on the coffee pot. This I believe is to produce a casual atmosphere where most people would feel comfortable which allows the audience to see that Adam and Fiona are just a normal couple. In contrast to this we are shown a claustrophobic scene in the terrorists' car, where almost everything, including their costumes is black, which is often associated with bad. The difference in colour is enforced by Fiona and Adam’s car which is painted white, this I think is meant to establish which pair we as an audience are encouraged to think is bad, and which is good. In the room where Fiona and Danny are being held by the male terrorist, Ahmed, the mise-en-scene is very limited as other than the chairs and later the can of petrol, there is little in the room, also the colours in the room are mostly a harsh blue which could be meant to show a coldness on the part of the terrorists. One of the strongest items that reduce support for the terrorists in one of the earlier scenes is the photograph of Fiona and Adam’s son, making him someone whom the English couple have to protect, which would give the terrorists an irredeemable factor. In favour of the terrorists the hotel room where Khatera is holding Adam is like most hotel rooms in the fact that it is made up of warm colours such as creams and reds, whereas this is typical it could also be in support of Khatera as an individual character. This view I feel is supported by that setting being the one where she opens up to Adam, and recounts the tragedies in her past, during which she becomes more sympathetic and regretful about Adam’s situation providing a side to the terrorists which the audience can relate to.

Another method through which the characters are represented is through the camera angles. For the English couple, especially when they are together in their kitchen at the beginning, wider frames are used, allowing for a more comfortable view of the scene. When in a scene together, they are often shown in two shots or over shoulder shots, so that they are both in the audiences view together, which on watching this episode I get the impression that it is to present the characters as two people who are very close together, inspiring sympathy from the audience. In comparison the terrorists Ahmed and Khatera, though rarely in a scene together are often show separately in head shots, or close shots where only a section of their faces is shown. This provides a more intense view of the scene as the audience is made to focus on the two terrorists and the action in the scene. Because their faces are not completely shown at first there is a certain mystery about the terrorists which in my opinion gives them a binary opposition with the Adam and Fiona as mystery inspires mistrust. Also in the room where Fiona is being held the camera is often positioned lower than Ahmed so that it looks up to him, making the character look stronger and in a position of power over Fiona which is likely to make the audience support Fiona.

Another aspect used to cast the terrorists in a darker light to Adam and Fiona is editing, this is especially shown in Danny’s death scene in the series of cutting between the scenes and the characters. For a long section of the scene the footage is cut between Fiona and Adam when Adam is being ordered to choose whom Ahmed should shoot. This is occasionally joined with shots of Khatera who shows a more human approach to Adam’s situation but other than that she is most blurred out of the images, focusing attention on the English couple and Ahmed. The camera remains focused on Danny for a longer period of time, only lifting entirely when he is about to be shot as he starts to confront the terrorists, cutting occasionally to Ahmed to show the audience his reaction. Editing techniques such as this in the episode does little to gain an audience’s sympathy from the audience.

Most of the sympathy towards the representation of terrorists is achieved through sound in this episode. Though the background music changes pitch and frequency in the scenes it continues throughout, providing a sound bridge to each scene providing a consistency. This might be to show the equal desperation for Adam and Fiona but it also could be to show a similarity between them and the terrorists, building for them a sense of equality in that respect at least. The dialogue between the Adam and Fiona and the terrorists casts equal sympathy for both sides in my opinion. Whilst the English are able to come out with lines such as the terrorists killed a bus full of children the terrorists are able to come up with incidents of how they saw their family die, how to the English Arab children’s lives don’t matter to the English and how a wedding ceremony as bombed, among other incidents. Because of the sheer quaintly of loss the terrorists suffered it could be enough for the audience to support them but most of the lines are delivered by Ahmed who seems indifferent in comparison to Khatera, who is the sympathy character of the two terrorists. However the terrorists are also shown in a very dark light by their dialogue by lines such as Ahmed’s when he tells Fiona how her son will be able to watch her burn on the Internet and Khatera’s revelation that they planted a bomb inside of her. Both of these show cruelty, perhaps the most intense being the bomb as it shows that the terrorists are prepared to harm their own for the greater cause, and whilst it gives a better light for Khatera it is only on her as a character, and not as a terrorist. But on a whole I believe that the dialogue provides I think an equality between Adam and Fiona and the terrorists

In conclusion I believe that this drama series has tried to present the English couple and the terrorists as binary opposites, casting the English couple in a better light, using things such as editing, camera angles and mise-en-scene. I also believed that the terrorists are redeemed, mostly through sound and dialogue, especially that of Khatera. Apart from this however I believe that we are encouraged to support the English couple over the terrorists.

Thriller Conventions

With reference to Psycho and two other thrillers discuss the thriller genre and its terms and conventions

The genre of thriller deals with mystery, suspense and the dark sides of human nature and will often focus on internal suffering although in some cases such as The Others directed by Alejando Amenábar, here may have a supernatural element but it is never the focus of the plot line and as it is mostly concerned with the psychological tensions between the mother and daughter I believe that it fits the thriller genre. Thrillers are different to the horror genre for horror tends to deal with the external threats and sometimes the focus is mainly the supernatural. As with many other genres the on screen thriller uses various different aspects of the storyline and the film industry to get the desired response from the audience, some such aspects are the plot line, the music used, the presentation of the protagonist and how tension is shown.      

One of the main ways of showing suspense and tension within a thriller is by the way a character reacts to a certain situation for we as an audience take many hints from this. For example, in Alfred Hitchcock’s film Spellbound there is at first no cause for obvious tension but the character of Dr Edwards reacts strongly, tensing his body and appears to be fearful when Constance Peterson scratches lines into the table linen with her fork. This tells the audience that there is something wrong with that particular character especially from the reactions of the other psychiatrists at the table as though they do not say anything the audience is given a feeling of concern from how they behave towards him. The tension shown in this way therefore is even more acute as it is such a normal setting with no outwardly strange occurrences. This is in contrast to a scene in another of Hitchcock’s films Psycho where Norman Bates and Marian Crane are talking in the parlour of Norman Bates' office. Throughout the scene Bates says things that in the real world might give some people pause such as ‘a boy’s best friend is his mother’ and that his hobby is taxidermy. This is then coupled with the fact that he readily admits that though his mother is harmless she is sick in the head. Despite all these things being mentioned Miss Crane calmly eats her meal, showing no sign that there is anything to be concerned about. Therefore I believe that Hitchcock wanted to confuse the audience as though we can be led to consider that there is something odd about Norman Bates we are not guided in the same direction of thought by Miss Crane and therefore we may find ourselves apart from the scene although because of her reaction we are not entirely convinced that there is anything wrong at all. This is similar to a scene in Alejando Amenábar’s The Others where Grace shows her new servants around the house and as the audience they seem to be unconcerned. This is even more surprising as the rules of the house are explained, such as the fact that every door in the house must be locked before another is opened which is only explained at a later point when the children’s medical condition is revealed. Whereas we would find such rules extremely strange the servant’s remain calm and do not question though this could also be seen a politeness in society.

(Trailer for The Others)

Another aspect of most successful thrillers is to present a well developed protagonist through whose eyes the audience is comfortable looking, one quote from author Stuart Voytilla is

‘The Hero must be fully developed and grounded in our real world so we can relate to and sympathize with him in this high-stakes Journey of life and death.’

In Psycho, Alfred Hitchcock experiments with going against this idea however as for audience is made familiar with the woman they believe to be the main character only to have her die halfway through in the shower scene. This I believe is to shock the audience as before her death we are made comfortable with the idea that she will guide us through the story as up to that point we only know what she knows. This provides a ‘thrill’ for the audience in this film as the death of the main character is something you never think to expect. The idea of giving the audience a major character to relate to is also twisted somewhat in Alfred Hitchcock’s Spellbound as it could be said that the mysterious Dr Edwards or J.B is the major character if not the protagonist however he is difficult to relate to. This is because of the simple fact that the character is suffering from the guilt complex and has forgotten who he was before Dr Edwards died (which is quite like the predicament of Norman Bates in Psycho), as we are given very little information about the character other than how he behaves for the time being, we are shown a character who is not easily sympathised with. His guilt complex provides a strong tool to the thriller aspect as we are unsure what he is capable of although murder is suggested meaning that the character of J.B is not dissimilar to that of a live grenade. In Alejando Amenábar’s The Others we are given two main characters who stubbornly oppose each other. Grace and her young daughter Anne as we see through the eyes of both tension is provided as Anne continually scares her family with talk of ghosts and the fact that she is the only one in the household who talks about an incident years ago when her mother went mad and the fact that the old servants left them one day without giving notice. Like Grace her son Nicholas rebuffs Anne’s accusations and we are made to feel sympathetic towards both mother and daughter as they try to cope with each other. However we question what is wrong with the family as the information we are given is somtimes frustratingly slow to come out and widely spaced.

One of the main tools used in the film industry is the music for it can evoke particular feelings and emotions and it is especially useful in creating tension for with a build up of music as it grows faster and louder your imagination and heartbeats will often respond. Hitchcock’s Psycho uses a theme tune which has become iconic in creating suspense although most of the time there is no background noise but when the music is used it is very fast and the sounds used are made to sound off-key and is repetitive and evenly spaced although the music grows faster likening it to accelerating heartbeats. The music builds up in key aspects of the film such as when Norman Bates is about to commit murder and when Marian Crane is running from the law and as such the audience is not simply directed by the music but they will expect something both big and important in the film to occur simply through their experiences with the film. Hitchcock’s Spellbound uses a softer theme tune which may well be representative of the film being a romance as well as a thriller but the music is played slightly off-key and I believe that is so the audience might feel somewhat unnerved.

(Theme music from Spellbound, music begins at 49 seconds)

The Others begins with soft violin music which gradually grows louder although it is still possible to forget that there is music playing in the background. It is possessed of a slightly shaky quality with may have been meant to suggest that the family is struggling to keep together, this music is maintained for most of the film.  However at times when the characters, especially Grace is put into a position of anger or fear the music becomes louder and fast until it is almost a constant drone, this music increases the tensions within the scenes as it becomes a deeper insight as to what the characters are feeling.

Another important aspect of a thriller is the mystery and the twists of the plot line, one quote from author Stuart Voytilla describing the plot line is

‘The Thriller plot runs like a roller coaster, with its build, sudden dips and breathers, and mounting anticipation that takes us to breathtaking conclusion.’

As the name suggests an audience expects to be thrilled by thriller and whilst there are many aspects to making this happen the effect would not be the same without a well thought out plot line that should surprise the audience. Hitchcock is notorious for shocking the audiences and this is no different with the plot line of Psycho and its twists. As I mentioned before the death of the woman we presume to be the main character is something that would shock as after that there are few ways in which the story can be picked up again. One of the main points that make the plot twists in my view extremely unexpected is that the lie of the sick mother is so well maintained by Hitchcock leaving little room to question whether the voice belonging to the mother and then we are constantly reminded by the other characters that they could see an old, sick woman sitting by the window.  The only time when you realise that something is wrong with the woman’s identity is when you learn that Mrs Bates and her second husband are dead. Despite this and the oddities of Norman Bates it is unclear that he is the source of danger. The plot line in Alfred Hitchcock’s Spellbound is different in the way that none of the major characters have any solid knowledge of what has happened concerning the death of Dr Edwards whereas in many thrillers it would be one of the main characters who could not be trusted, or at least who had a deeper understanding than the audience. In Spellbound though we learn with the characters and aside from the characters running from the police at the same time as trying to work out what had happened the real plot twists take place in the past. From the information that is given to us we could be forgiven for believing that J.B did in fact murder Dr Edwards and then in the guilt complex take on his identity in an effort to keep the doctor alive, a belief that is made all the more firm as the only one convinced of his innocence is Constance who is driven by love as much as anything else. I would imagine that the audience would be surprised by the truth of the matter in the fact that the kindly Dr Murchison, old Head of Green Manors, was in fact Dr Edwards' murderer as he resented the man for replacing him. For despite his helping the police during the film he is a minor character who was probably not be given much thought. Even his identity is hidden in the dream sequence for he as shown as a ‘masked figure.’

(Spellbound, Dr Murchison in the dream sequence. The wheel represents a revolver.)

The plot line of Alejando Amenábar’s The Others deals with the supernatural elements of a ghost story which is in contrast to the psychological torment and tensions that make this film a thriller, the plot line can also be included in the thriller genre for it presents various surprising twists to the story. Almost immediately it becomes clear that there is something  wrong with the house when Anne tells the new nanny about how the old servants had simply vanished one day and how something went wrong with their mother, the latter of which is met with frightened anger from her little brother Nicolas. Throughout the film there is the distinct feel of a ghost story with characters whom you hear but can’t see, curtains being flung upon, doors closing and Anne's stories and other such common devices. I believe that we as an audience are also made to dislike the others as they seem to be trying to hurt the children through their condition by tempting them outside to play and by taking the curtains down. When later Grace discovers from a picture of the dead that their new servants are ghosts the children are outside in a forgotten graveyard where the servants are walking which increases tension as you wonder what shall befall the children. The greatest plot twist of all however is the last when you discover the truth through a seance that it is Grace and her family who are dead and the mother’s unspoken madness that haunts Anne is when she smothered her children and on seeing what she had done shot herself explaining why the old servants left them so suddenly. I think that this would be the most thrilling plot twist as before we are lulled into the story being a conventional ghost story and that the majority of the audience would not think to question this.

In conclusion the thriller genre is one that seeks to shock, thrill and surprise through plot twists and the thoughts, actions and darker natures of the characters. One of the ways which thrillers will make an audience feel a certain emotion is through music especially when there is a build up of tension because we as an audience react so well to the music. The way a character reacts to a certain situation in the thriller genre is also an incredibly important tool as we often look to the characters to work out what our reaction should be and sometimes we are left lost as in Psycho where we are naturally alarmed unlike the characters which I feel adds to the tension of the story.